I received this in one of those viral emails so I can't quote the source. Both my husband and I laughed so hard when we read it that I wanted to share it online.
DIRE Warning to Women.
THIS IS NOT A HOAX. WARN YOUR FRIENDS!
This is happening to women everywhere, every night. This has happened to me and it is very, very scary - so please be on your guard at all times!
You've heard about people who have been abducted and had their kidneys removed by black-market organ thieves.
My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. I went to sleep and woke up with someone else's thighs. It was just that quick. The replacements had the texture of cooked oatmeal. Whose thighs were these and what happened to mine? I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs. Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans.
And then the thieves struck again. My bum was next. I knew it was the same gang, because they took pains to match my new rear-end to the thighs they had stuck me with earlier. But my new bum was attached at least three inches lower than my original! I realized I'd have to give up my jeans in favour of long skirts.
Two years later, I realized my arms had been switched. One morning I was drying my hair and was horrified to see the flesh of my upper arm swing to & fro with the motion of the hairbrush. This was really getting scary - my body was being replaced one section at a time. What could they do to me next?
When my poor neck suddenly disappeared and was replaced with a turkey neck, I decided to tell my story.
BTW - These same thieves come in my closet and shrank my clothes! How do they do it????
Women of the world wake up! Smell the coffee! Those 'plastic' surgeons are using REAL replacement body parts -stolen from you and me! The next time someone you know has something 'lifted', look again - was it lifted from you?
P.S.: Last year I thought some one had stolen my boobs, too. I was lying in bed and they were gone! But when I jumped out of bed, I was relieved to see that they had just been hiding in my armpits as I slept. Now I keep them hidden in my waistband.